#623: The Good Kind of Forgetting

Birkat Asher on Parashat Mikketz, Bereshit/Genesis 41:51

A man relaxing in a beach chair, sipping a drink, and forgetting his problems

Bereshit/Genesis 41:51-52

וַיִּקְרָ֥א יוֹסֵ֛ף אֶת־שֵׁ֥ם הַבְּכ֖וֹר מְנַשֶּׁ֑ה כִּֽי־נַשַּׁ֤נִי אֱלֹהִים֙ אֶת־כׇּל־עֲמָלִ֔י וְאֵ֖ת כׇּל־בֵּ֥ית אָבִֽי׃ וְאֵ֛ת שֵׁ֥ם הַשֵּׁנִ֖י קָרָ֣א אֶפְרָ֑יִם כִּֽי־הִפְרַ֥נִי אֱלֹהִ֖ים בְּאֶ֥רֶץ עׇנְיִֽי׃

Joseph named the first-born Manasseh, meaning, “God has made me forget completely my hardship and my parental home.” And the second he named Ephraim, meaning, “God has made me fertile in the land of my affliction.”

Gimme Some Torah #623

Pharaoh gives Joseph a wife named Asenat, who bears him two sons. He names the first son Menashe because “God has made me forget (nashani) completely my hardship and my parental home.” R. Asher Wassertheil (bio) has these questions about this curious verse:

GOD HAS MADE ME FORGET: This is a difficult verse for me. Why would Joseph express any joy over completely forgetting his parental home? Is it really possible that Joseph the Righteous sought to assimilate in Egypt, God forbid? And also: It seems that the words [regarding Menashe] contradict the following verse, where he refers to Egypt as the “land of my affliction.” Why would Joseph call his new country such an insulting name, given that he was its viceroy, the recipient of a very powerful status, and also a normal family situation (a wife and two kids).

Here is R. Wassertheil’s answer to his rhetorical questions:

It seems that the purpose of Gen. 41:51 is to say this: “God has caused me to forget all the pain of the past, both the pain of being in prison and also the pain I suffered in my father’s house, i.e. his brothers’ hatred.”

[Menashe’s name] is a kind of announcement of gratitude for Joseph’s improved position. But even so, Joseph recognizes that he is a man from “the land of the Hebrews” and that he has been uprooted from Israel and relocated to “the land of my affliction.”

This is a highly nuanced explanation of what it means that God made Joseph completely forget his hardship and his father’s house. R. Wassertheil is saying that Joseph made a conscious decision, with God’s help, to remember only the good from his life and to chuck the bad thoughts in the garbage. Though he remains cognizant of being a stranger in a foreign land, he is nonetheless thankful for the grace that God has granted him.

This conscious, willful forgetting is a blessing for those who can manage it. I do not possess this talent, and I imagine it would be a very hard feat to pull off. Nonetheless, it reminds me of how some people, having been wrongly imprisoned for a crime they didn’t commit, claim to harbor no ill will toward the government. Perhaps these people who have been dealt a lousy hand in life actively decide to forget their pain for the sake of their sanity.

I have met some people who acquire the talent of conscious forgetting on their deathbeds. These people are blessed to die without the pain of unresolved anger.

Discussion Questions:

1. Do you think you could just trash the pain of your life? Why or why not?

2. Why do you think Joseph never bothered to send his father a letter saying that he was alive and well?